TEKANAN!!!

Ya Allah..semakin hari semakin banyak tekanan dalma hidup aku ni..aku pun xtaula kenapa aku yg mesti kena..sampaikan aku mo lari dari dunia yang realiti..kadang-kadang buat aku rasa macam aku ni tidak berguna langsung..keja..keja..keja..aku jujur bila aku mulakan keja aku tp napa ada je masalah yang timbul yang orang suka bangkitkan pasal aku..apa yang aku da buat sampai mcm ni skali layanan yang aku terima dari dorg..sedangkan aku buat kerja tanpa rasa nak lari dari skop aku tp selalunya benda tu yang akan jadi isu besar kepada bos2 aku..agaknya tu cara dorg nak aku quit agaknya..kalau aku nak quit pun aku ble je bla macam tu..tapi aku datang dengan cara yang baik..aku nak pergi dengan cara yang baik jugak..aku xnakla nama aku buruk hanya disebabkan attitude orang lain yang membabitkan aku sama dalam hal ni..sampaikan kadang kadang aku xmampu nak bersemuka dengan semua orang kat tempat keja..aku xfahamla..apa sebenarnya yang aku da buat..pokoknya sekarang ni..rehearsel konvo pagi ni..tp bos nak jumpa kat ofis..komfom nya akan mengundang masalah yang besar sebab bos nak diskus benda 2..sampaikan d1 cakap benda 2 da jd panas..apa benda yang jadi panas?benda 2 1st time aku buat tp da jadi besar macam ni sedangkan yang lain buat berkali2 xpenah nak jd apa2..aku pula sampai ke tangan head of department!aduiiii...macamlah kesalahan aku ni besar sangat..seolah2 aku mencuri..merosakkan property company..buat masalah yang besar..dorg nak explaination dari aku...aku jawab wlupun lambat dari date yang dia bg..then skrg explaination aku tulah aku kena jumpa dengan bos besar sekarang ni..aku rasa macam nak bunuh diri pun ada gak..kronik gila masalah yang aku hadapi skrg ni..tekanan perasaan yang teramat sangat!!tp bunuh diri bukanlah jalan yang baik..dan salah di sisi ISLAM..Ya Allah,kuatkanlah semangatku..semoga aku mampu harungi semua ini tanpa meninggalkan kesan yang mendalam..maksud aku bagi kesan yang negatif..menambah masalah dan menyusutkan kesihatan aku..masalahnya sekarang ni..sapa dalang dan punca suma ini??persoalan yang aku belum dapat jawapan sehingga ke hari ini...

come back!!

long time didn't post anything here..since last year i guess..huhu..too much stories to share but the time very jealous with me..everything i do..hahah...only can say with the word..everything that we have been planned before..not everything will be like we want..

bermulalah dengan kisah aku kenal dengan dak2..then rapat..seorang sahabat bertukar ke seorang yang lebih rapat.melibatkan hati dan perasaan..haha..sometimes its happy but sometimes it wasn't..pejam pelik..aku da tamat kolej hampir2 7bulan...bagi aku satu jangka masa yang panjang untuk konvo aku..akhirnya bulan 6 nti aku akan mendukung segulung diploma untuk usaha aku selama 2thn 6bln bertungkus lumus study siang malam wlupun kadang-kadang escape class and banyak lagi yang aku buat time kolej dulu..

pas last exam ja aku start buat praktikal kat satu company swasta dekat kl..company yang buat private investigation tuk insurance company..3 months i was there to learn something which i can use in my future..macam-macam yang aku belajar kat sana..ada yang manis ..tidak kurang ada juga ynag pahit tuk aku telan..can u imagine..for 3 months doing practicals then u didn't paid anything for everything you do for the company..how u want to live in kl if u don't have money???for me...3 months was enough for me to finish my OJT early..

31/12/2009..the day i went to LCCT to attented interview with AirAsia for position as Assistant Security Officer..together with lina..ain and siput..after a w weeks later..miss Kules was give me a call and told me that i pass their interview and she asked me to go to BP Diognisis at Cheras Murni for my medical checkup..im not very sure the date i went there..then on 27/01/2010..again miss kules gave me a call and told me that i have been offer to be part of security team in AirAsia and i need to report duty on 01/02/2010 at LCCT 9am..but 31/01/2010 my cousin Airuddin get married..i can't left the ceremony just like that..then i take the last flight from BKI - KUL on that night..i guess too much stories on how i getting to work on the next day..and im pretty sure i won't be last until tommorow to write it down here..hehhe

today..there was 3 month i join this team..too much of stories..but sometimes i cannot share with someone even my family members..today..27/04/2010..i just breakup my relation with someone..may be its the best way for us to end this relationship..everyday we get fight each other..everything he do for me was not right in front my eyes..may be its the best ways than i make him worst..may be its better for me to be alone for a while and concerntrade more on my profession..he cannot commit with my task anymore..always bubbling on me..everyday he's sad..i always scolded him..no wonder if someday im still alone without someone called boyfriend!

not feeling well....

last saturday...suppose to be my date day wif him...but im not feeling well...demam la plak taim 2...so b4 go to have a date wif him..he took me to go to poliklinik nearby my condo..as my request..can u guys imagine..they only give me panadol kk and ubat batuk...then he took me to The Curve in Damansara..only having n spent our weekand together even im not in good condition dat time..then having lunch in mcd..demam p gatal2 nak minum coke..pas2 jalan2 kat the curve..pas2 pg tgk wayang..harry potter..beli g mirinda besar..pas2 pekena lak dgn popcorn large..menjadi2 la batuk...balik umah 2 singgah jap kat hero bt.14 nak beli brg2 sket..kbtulan ari 2 ada pasar mlm..so beli mknan jap..dia anta blik umah..sampai2 je kat umah..trus lending...xdpt nak bgn da...badan letih sgt...sedar2...along n shikin da letak air asam jawa kat dahi..mmg teruk jgkla demam mlm 2..pas2 badan mengigil2...mmg xlarat r...pagi2 g bgn msj dgn dia..mgadu r tgh skt..pas2 msj mama..da xlarat nak berckap..suara da xda..pad2 dia nak dtg bwk g hsptal swasta tp petang sket around kul3..taim 2 br kul10..mmg da sakit teruk r..xble nak bgn..pas2 mama kol abang..dia bwk g kpmc...1st time dlm hidup amik darah..da xkisah da time 2..wat i know...cptla sembuh..nak tau apa kputusan dia...samada jangkitan bakteria o virus...bakteria cuma demam besa tp klu jangkitan virus 2...fhm2 la virus skrg ni..h1n1..nauzubillah...pas amik darah..kn tgu brapa minit...pas2 br dpt result...nsb bek cm jangkitan bakteria je...erm..mmg teruk r..pas2...bil medication je da smpai rm114..mcm nak pengsan dgr angka 2..yela..apa tak nya..demam besa je..tp mahal mcm 2..pas2 cita kat mama..dia cakap xkisahla yg penting sihat..nasibla da ok sket..da ble nak tgk laptop...nak buat keja sket even masih pening2..yang penting da ada selera makan...cepat2la sembuh xtahan sakit macam ni...tp yang paling kelakarnya..dia suka lak sy sakit..jahat kan??huhu..dia ckp klu sy sakit..dia suka dgr suara sy..lembut je mcm org manja..ekele..kte sakit dia xtau..payah nak tahan suara 2..xnak batuk...tp papun...im glad he taking good care of me..thanx to God 4 give him to be me...ada hikmah Dia amik suma yang saya ada dlu..sbb Dia nak bagi yang lagi baik untuk saya...

29.7.09

erm...the day dat i never expect happen even once in my life..but its my destiny..redha dgn ketentuan ALLAH..mayb there is some reason why all dis happen..but sometimes its make me down..after everything dat i have through together wif him..it still means nothing..why??i alraedy do da best in dis relation..not blaming to anybody...mayb the mistake is also from me..but...what i know..i've been all out..he never saw dat..and im very sure..he never appreciate me as me appreciate him!!btw...thanx 4 being a part of life..even it short..mayb the time is not enough..as a human being..we must appreciate watever we have..

huhuh

today is wonderful day for me...hanging out with him even only go to national library in kl..but it so sweet for me...he came from sentul and take me in puchong..help me make some research for my assignment..how can u guys imagine..everything he do for me...but im felt sorry for him...bcoz..im never hanging out together with him...i mean only two of us..at the first date..i came together with my baby..accompany him to have a lunch even im fasting..huhuh...then the second date hanging out together with syiera..have some lunch together and that time...we go to shah alam..what are romantic and im very sure that can count the couple who take their patner to the mousqe..hehhe...we go to Masjid Sultan Abd Aziz in Shah Alam..hehhe..have solat together..huhu...really mizz that time..im happy to have him as mine..but are so funny here is..every time we have our date..there are always my frenz join us..somtimes i think what he will say to me..until this evening..actually he invite me to have some reunion with his fren in Wangsa Maju but..it was cancelled cause he dun want my fren go back home by bus..he always want to make me happy because my fren is everything for me..he send my fren go home..then he take me to giant..to buy some chocolate for me..as his promise..hehe...finally..we are alone..ate ice-cream together..so sweet!huhh...miss him so much and im lucky to have him in my life....

happinest is mine!!!

hhuhuhu....4.7.2009...date that i know him...nothing special about him..mayb he treat me nicely...there is long time 4 me 2 forget some1..tp...knl dia buat aku rasa mcm da lama kenal dia..entala.mayb dia ek kot..tau mcmna nak lyn ak ni..dala ak ni byk songeh sket..mula2 mmg susah nak rapat dgn dia..can u imagine??dia ckp kntek dgn ak rimas...adoiiii...mati la..sejak ari 2 aku stat jauhkan diri dari dia..tp yg besnya...dia cari ak lak.hehehhe..bangga ak jap.sapa suh...kunun2 nak limit msg dgn ak la...tup2 dia yg xble nak tido...xble klu xkntk dgn ak..padan muka!pasal adik lak..ari 2 mama ckp adik dpt keja..bla da sampai ari nak g keja 2...ada masalah laa...company 2 bkn nak cari clerk..tapi nak cr pegawai pemasaran..dorg pilih adik ak.tp masalahnya adik ak xkonfiden dia dpt buat job 2..so dia tarik diri...bkn sng nak dpt keja 2..tp apa ble buat..bkn rezeki adik ak...dia xkonfiden ble handle job 2..sbb responsible job 2 besar sgt..mayb pada org yg berusia 20thun keatas senangla..tp adik br 17thun..tlalu muda..so xdela desak dia sgt..keja adik...kena deal dgn boss2 besar..jumpa klien..adik xda konfident g..xpela..pas2 mama ckp..nak masukkan adik kat ptpl..amik dip...mcm besa..mama akan tnya opinion aku n abang..klu bg pihak ak..ok je..tp pihak abang lak..dia xberapa setuju..abang suh adik masuk ilp..pas2 continue kat ciast..ntala...skrg ni...suma kptsan kat tangan adik.cian dia...dia da lama duk umah..da bosan duk umah..wish she got the best 4 her future...diala satu2nya adik ak..klu bkn ak n abang yg amik tau...sapa lg???!

lovely adik...

mama said...adik got a job..as a clerk in a company..im not sure which the company is it..but what i know..untie Naimah..the person who are responsible on this..she help my sis find the job..after she heard from my mum..that adik have been work as housekeeper in a private hospital..actually..it help her to get some knowledge and experience how to survive life without someone to lend a hand..actually..im very proud of her because she was very young..( not really young she 17years old act )..because i only have her as my sister..she always share her problem with me..about her feeling..her study..last month when im going back to home town..when i see her..i said..how big my sis now..there is long time not see her..now..i getting confuse where i will send my sister to continue her future study..i only just want her to have better future..if not me and my brother...who else want to take care of her right??my parent already tired to think about their children..so its the time for me and my bro to take hand over her..the only sister that we have..i remember..before im going home..i'll buy something for her and my mum..she always asking me to buy her a necklace..and also perfume..huh!she might be thinking that her sister ( Me ) have a lots of money...hehhehe...what i know...she very hardworking person..always clean up our house for everyday..but when i came back..she become a lazy..u know why??she said i can do it..ermmm...my little sister..when i have a called from mama..she always told me adik have been diet to maintain her body..hahhah..but when the time i arrived at home..she lost her diet..when i eat..she joined me.. when i have my drink..she also joined me..because she mizz me so much..i only spent time about 2-3 weeks at home then back to college..thats why...whatever looks like my sis..she always be my sis..and i love her so much..my lovely sis...NUR ATIQAH RAMLEE!